In George Orwell’s dystopian novel 1984, citizens of the totalitarian state of Oceania are taught to practice something called doublethink—the ability to hold two contradictory beliefs at once, and to accept both as true.
When we talk about “healing” from narcissism, we’re not talking about some magical overnight transformation where someone becomes humble, emotionally fluent, and completely others-focused. That’s not realistic. And frankly, that kind of fantasy only sets us up for disappointment and denial.
For many women, growing up with a mother whose emotional world was unpredictable, self-absorbed, or overwhelmed by internal turmoil feels like being tasked with parenting the very person who was supposed to be their caregiver.
When most people talk about mental health, they frame it as an individual matter: your brain chemistry, your self-care routine, your resilience or lack thereof. Therapy, too, is often imagined as a private project—one person sitting with one therapist, working on their personal story.